Proverbs

Kind of hard to do when you're unwillingly put into a certain situation that makes you the way you are.
But I'd love to let go of what I am now.....a bit of a contradiction huh?
I'm trying so hard to literally let go of what I am. I am fighting this disease with all my might and will not give up until I've become my old self again. But then again I can never go back to the way I used to be so in reality I'm trying to become a better me. And that is sort of what this proverb means to me. Better oneself, pysically, mentally , emotionally and spiritually.



FREAKIN' HARD TO DO,
but I nevertheless am willing to.
It gives me peace and the ability to relativize. Keeps me down to earth, to never take things for granted and apreciate the things I've got  contrary to what I don't have.

BUT........peoples thoughts always wander. At least normal people do. You can't stop dreaming or fantasising about the "what if's". And so do I.
I dreammmmmmmmmm, yes I do.
I dream of a bright future. I dream of doing MY THING. I dream of a bit of regularity since I barely have some nowadays. I hope and look forward to how I will feel once I've reached the goal I've set for myself.
Whilst dreaming, the images of the people around me come to mind and feelings of envy appear. But quickly subside by the contentment I always have felt seeing them happy and healtily living their lives.

I never used to feel jealous or envious of people that way............UNLESS it's about a digital gadget purchase (meaning they bought something I'd LOVE TO HAVE). Other fators were never an issue to me. I had my own troubles and tribulations to worry about so why bother about other peoples misery. I'm not talking about empathy ofcourse......................
Anywho...enough said....

THE END